The (NY) Independent Film Festival in Los Angeles - Sept 2003

September 17th Wednesday

I flew out on Virgin Atlantic thanks to a hostess friend of mine getting me my otherwise very expensive ticket half price. On the eleven hour flight I had plenty of time to contemplate what had brought me to be 37,000 feet in the air en route to the dream factory.

Despite its humble origins Summer Rain had turned out to be an epic production that had taken complete control of eight years of my life. Yet, despite all the difficulties it had been well received and given me a fantastic year traveling to Savannah, Rome, Connecticut, New York and now L.A. Of course, this was also the film’s final screening on the festival circuit – what better ending could there be to this story than to have my film have its Hollywood premiere, with seven international awards, three nominations under its belt and to have the director attending thanks to a grant from Screen South. Surely, I thought, this would have to have the dream ending – a Hollywood career.

In order to make this dream a reality I knew that lots more work would have to be done. So, I spent six weeks data-basing the three volumes of the 2002 Hollywood Creative Directories; I had the names of Producers, Agents and Distributors at my disposal. I had 5000 invitations printed up. I ordered 2000 envelopes and paperclips, bought over 5 cartridges of ink for my supporting letters, 5 reams of paper were used.

Day by day, I printed letterheads, supporting letters and envelopes. Day by day, posting 300 at a time to L.A – But rapidly running out of time. I used UPS to courier 500 invitations to L.A on September 16th on a three day service. I also signed up to www.evite.com which is an e-mail invitation service which tracks rsvps, acceptances and declines. Through this service I invited 1000 people. On the evening of September 16th I continued to print envelopes, supporting letters and fold and seal them with the invitations. I enlisted the help of my mother, actor Charlie Watts (Michael in Summer Rain) who was staying with me as he was in Brighton on tour with ‘Vincent in Brixton’, and actor Simon Paul (Paul in Summer Rain). Until approximately 3 am, they slaved folding, sealing and paper-clipping. 

My suitcase was stacked with thousands of spare invitations and hundreds of envelopes ready to be posted once I was in L.A.

After about two hours sleep – Charlie drove me to Heathrow (from Brighton).

So by the time I was on the plane, I was confident that I had given myself and my film a pretty decent shot at securing an audience and a Hollywood career. I had spent everything I had, over a thousand pounds on 1000 e-mail invitations, 2000 hard copy invitations, all sent out to fill the Laemmle Fairfax Cinema in West Hollywood which had 179 seats. I mean, it’s an award winning, British, romantic comedy – who wouldn’t want to be there?

On the plane I mostly slept. Whereas Charlie had to drive back from Heathrow to Brighton on two hours sleep. I hoped that he didn’t crash my car as I looked out onto the vast landscape of America beneath me. Flying over the deserts of Utah, Arizona, Nevada and into California you realize just how huge America is, the Salt Lake is a mere puddle in the epic vista before me. Blue skies and deserts. The overwhelming colour scheme as we approach Los Angeles is beige. Then as we approach Los Angeles you can spy the Golf courses, they are the oasis of greenery amidst the beige. Blue kidney swimming pools glittered in the sun. Then the grid starts. Los Angeles is hundreds of miles wide and long and is basically a flat grid of one story buildings surrounded by endless freeways in every direction, for hundreds of miles, until you hit the coast. From the air it looks like a monument to the stupidity and self-destructiveness of man… and how I wish I had shares in concrete.

After the perfect landing we disembarked; the other passengers and I wearily stumbled onto U.S soil. Walking down the gang-plank I saw a beautiful looking black dog, with an armed Customs Officer. I smiled at the dog and walked past onto the downwards escalators. As I yawned on the journey down I heard a patter of feet coming towards me, I turned to find the dog enthusiastically settling behind me so I stroked it and said “What a beautiful dog” to the Officer, who nodded as he spoke into his handset. At the bottom of the escalator he slapped his hand on my shoulder and asked me to step aside and wait. Obviously this made me a little nervous. Why would he want me to step aside? Because I liked his dog? A Female Officer turned up and asked me to accompany her to U.S Customs. As I followed her I was aware of the other passengers now eyeing me suspiciously and the dog handler’s suspicious gaze as I was led through a priority channel to Customs.

“Am I in some sort of trouble?” I asked.

“The dog has positively identified you so you’re being held on suspicion of trafficking narcotics.”

“Really? But I don’t even smoke. I don’t do anything like that. I’m completely clean.”

“Well, the dog is never wrong.”

“Oh.”

I was then introduced to the mustachioed, balding Officer who would search my luggage. As he set about my hand luggage I was asked another set of questions:-

“Do you have any narcotics about your person?”

“No.”

“Have you been in the company of people who take narcotics?”

“Not to my knowledge.”

“Are you carrying anything for anyone else?”

“No”.

“Did you pack your luggage yourself?”

“Yes.”

“Are you here on business or pleasure?”

“Pleasure, with a bit of business I hope.”

Obviously the search of my hand luggage yielded nothing but several hundred invitations to my film screening, and a couple of hundred envelopes ready to be posted. Both of which proved to be fascinating to the Officer as I explained I had a movie screening in a week in Hollywood. He wished me luck as I invited him and the entire U.S Customs team at L.A.X to the film. By this time I think he could tell that I was entirely innocent and he started the search of my main luggage. Before he opened it I warned him, “Be careful, as soon as you open that case approximately 1000 envelopes and 2000 invitations will just fall out.” He nodded disbelievingly. 1000 envelopes and 2000 invitations flooded out across the airport counters. He raised his eyebrows at me and I managed not to say “I told you so” (after all, he’s armed). My only fear was that he might want to actually look in the envelopes just to make sure I wasn’t ingratiating myself to the powers of Hollywood by sending them drugs through the post…. Luckily he didn’t so the 1000 envelopes remained intact and useable. I helped him repack my bag, scooping up the thousands of fliers. The dog handler kept eyeing me suspiciously obviously wanting me to be guilty, to prove his dog was never wrong. Every now and then he would chip into the search with “Check his heels” and “Check his belt” – but the searching officer ignored him. Finally, he looked at my hand luggage again. “I’m just wondering what set the dog off”. He said as he sniffed my pencil sharpener. Then he took out a Mars Bar from the side pocket. He held it in his hand and considered it for a moment and looked at me, his eyebrows raised again as he nodded, “This could be it.”

Slightly later than expected, I wheeled my bags out into the foyer of L.A.X where I was met by my friend (and host) ANDY HURST. He is a former Brighton resident and film-maker who I met in about 1990. Andy was the camera operator on my first 16mm short film ROADSIDE. Andy grew up making films with his friends in a collective called ‘New Blood’. Originally it was Andy with his brother Mike with Robin and Daniel Hill. After a few video shorts of varying quality they had undertaken to make a video feature film. The first effort which I helped direct was called the ‘THE DEBT COLLECTOR” – that was never finished and is only notable in that it was the first time I worked with actress Daisy Beaumont – who went onto have a successful career and cameoed in my short THE PERFECT MURDER as well as appear in Summer Rain. Andy and New Blood went onto make a feature film on Beta (it started on Hi 8), it took approximately 5 years, was written as it went along and I can be seen as a G-Man in it. This film was finally finished as ‘Revelations’ but later retitled as PROJECT ASSASSIN and in 1995 I drove to Cannes with a copy in the boot. Andy stayed in Brighton, but Robin Hill got drunk one night at a party with a chap called Marco Weber who happened to be associated with Roland Emmerich. Marco liked the film and within a year Andy was directing the vastly under-rated film that he had written called “YOU’RE DEAD” starring Rhys Ifans and John Hurt (and Simon Paul from Summer Rain).

 Andy then went to live in Los Angeles as a working screenwriter and film director. Since adopting L.A as his home he has written WILD THINGS 2, WILD THINGS 3 and EARTHQUAKE. Andy currently works at Sandstorm Entertainment.

Andy drove me the twenty minutes or so back to his place in West L.A and I saw for the first time working oil pumps. L.A has its own oil fields and this is reflected in the price of fuel. When I picked up my hire car it only cost me $16 to fill up the entire tank! Unbelievable, a tenner for a full tank!

Arriving at Andy’s home in West L.A, I was taken aback that here was a quiet residential street, with trees, grass verges and Spanish style housing and yet it was only a turning away from the three lane highways that criss-cross and suffocate L.A.

I showed Andy the list of restaurants and bars that Kirsten Dunst (Spider Man, Bring It On, Virgin Suicides) had written out for me. He laughed and pointed out that I probably couldn’t afford the valet car parking at these establishments let alone the food. So for the time being – The Little Door (French), Matsuhisa (Sushi), Angelini Osteria (Italian) would have to wait….. for me to get a multi-million dollar career. In the meantime I would discover the joys of In ’n’ Out and Johnny Rocket Burgers in L.A

After a couple of hours of rest Andy took me into Hollywood, a twenty minute drive, and I was predictably like a wide-eyed tourist. Parking under the Kodak Theatre (where the Oscar’s are held) I was amazed by the amount of employee’s needed to point the way for parking patrons, also with the option of valet parking.

Stepping out onto the Hollywood boulevard I was immersed into the crazy buzz of L.A. There really was energy in the air, an excitement and across the road there was indeed a premiere going on for Sharon Stone’s new movie “Cold Creek Manor” directed by Mike Figgis and starring Dennis Quaid. The crowds were screaming as the guests arrived and there was a seemingly endless supply of cameramen jostling for position. I looked down beneath my feet and smiled:-

As a hip film director, I know I’m supposed to say my influences are Trauffaut, Godard, Renoir and Scorcese but I can’t deny that my love of cinema, like countless other film-makers of my generation was because of this man – Steven Spielberg.

I was on the Hollywood walk of fame. Apparently it costs the celebrity $3000 to have the star put on the side-walk so I was confused as to why Harrison Ford wanted two.

 On this quick jaunt through Hollywood Andy took me to see the legendary celebrity hand prints outside of Mann’s Chinese Theatre.

We walked a stretch of the Boulevard but then the crowds started thinning and the lighting wasn’t so good. Andy suggested that it was time to turn around as the area started getting ‘a tad seedy’.

Indeed, there were many homeless people begging on the streets. I was surprised to see them so obviously asking for cash as I thought in such a tourist hot-spot, the image conscious authorities of L.A would ensure that the non-glamorous people of Hollywood would be swiftly moved along, but they weren’t. One of the most prominent memories of this trip to the U.S was the number of homeless people begging that I saw. In L.A it was particularly prevalent.

Before I got to tired and fell asleep, I explained to Andy the thinking behind this trip – that this was my best shot to get a Hollywood career. 6 weeks of data-basing, 2-3000 invitations, 7 awards, 3 nominations and a grant from Screen South to attend… surely this was my moment? “It sounds less like a career path and more like therapy.” said Andy.

September 18th Thursday:-

My sleep was erratic, my body clock confused and heart was broken. So I got up early and started to unpack and sort the invitations and envelopes that I had bought with me. I was disappointed to find that the parcel of 350 envelopes that I had sent on a UPS service didn’t arrive; ah well, they still had a day or two as I booked it on a three day service.

Andy and his girlfriend Zaki had already sent many of the envelopes that I had previously posted to him, but there were still a few hundred to go. I started to sort them and realized I needed to go to the post office again. I gave Andy the $250 I already owed him in postage and sat down to stick on more stamps to my VIP envelopes.

Andy gave me a lift to Santa Monica via Nakatomi Plaza…. I mean the Fox Building that doubled for Nakatomi Plaza. “Gentlemen, you wanted miracles; I give you the F.B.I” To quote Alan Rickman in Die Hard.

Santa Monica is my favorite part of the city. It actually has a pedestrian shopping area and has more of a community feeling than the rest of the highway known as L.A. Although sadly it had been only 3 or 4 weeks earlier that an elderly man lost control of his vehicle and had run over and killed several people in this area. If I had to live in L.A, I would live in Santa Monica. It feels like Brighton. It has a beach, pier, cool shops and nightlife and during my three week stay I was often drawn back to Santa Monica to hang out and shop. It felt like home.

Yet, my first experience of Santa Monica was to stand in the post office queue for 45 minutes. The U.S Mail service is awful. This is not a debatable sentence. During my stay I went to the post office many times and each time I found the experience to be tediously long, boring, frustrating and a bizarre contrary glimpse of America. Every other public service in America seems to demand exceptionally high standards…. Except the post office where there is a sign that says “The customer always comes first, last and always.” By that I think they mean the customer arrives before the staff and waits forever.

Even in this queue you couldn’t escape Hollywood. A mobile phone went off in the queue.

“Hi, no he’s at Fox now…. I’ll be at Paramount this afternoon… no he’s young but very talented, he should direct.”

So I held out my invitations very openly and asked the Mailman, “Can I have $350 worth of stamps please so I can send out the invitations to my feature film premiere?”

Sadly, whoever it was in the queue with me didn’t use that as an opportunity to ask for an invite and sign me up.

Walking to Kinko’s I saw a car offering a mobile wedding service, is this normal? Kinko’s is a nationwide copy shop where I ordered the poster of Summer Rain awards poster for the foyer of the Cinema. $75 for one poster, proof it on Saturday, if approved it would be ready for collection on Monday, in the nick of time for the premiere screening.

More homeless people decorated the side-walks of the otherwise rich shopping area of Santa Monica. In Barnes & Noble bookshop I saw a notebook journal which I thought would be good to write notes in but I didn’t buy anything, fearful that I was only on day one of my trip and I had already parted with over $500.

Dropping me off at home in West L.A, Andy went to work at Sandstorm Entertainment. Whilst he was gone, I started to stamp and collate the envelopes and invitations ready for posting.

Jonathan holds the first box of envelopes

Top envelope to Douglas Wick at Red Wagon

That afternoon I checked my email and I received a ‘Good luck’ note from Ray Adnett at Deluxe labs, which encouraged me. It’s funny how simple gestures can hearten you. Don Haber, an Executive Director at Bafta LA sent me an email confirming that my films details had been added to the Bafta LA website thus hopefully encouraging members to attend the screening, now less than a week away. www.baftala.org

I had only met Annameka Porter-Sinclair twice briefly, but she emailed me that she was asking some of her friends, who were L.A Agents and friends at Paramount to attend the screening. I had no idea she moved in those circles.

There was an email from Summer Rain’s co-writer Chris Rieley. Sadly, he couldn’t afford the air fare over to L.A so he was declining the opportunity to watch the film in Hollywood; sad, but a reality of being a British independent film maker.

That night Andy and I, with a couple of his colleagues from Sandstorm, went to the opening night party of the film festival. We arrived late at the Wyndham Belage Hotel, 1020 N.San Vicente Blvd, W.Hollywood – Just off Sunset Blvd.

The event was in full swing, but it was less of a party and more of a film market similar to the basement of the Palais in Cannes. Many of the film-makers had hired at great cost ‘booths’ (or as I would call them ‘tables’) from the festival to publicise their films. Posters, fliers, and DVD players were at each booth screening either the trailer or in some cases, the actual film. The filmmakers were doing their best to drum up interest and an audience. I’m not sure how effective having a booth would be as the only guests, as far as I could tell, at this party were other filmmakers like myself who were only selfishly interested in generating an audience for their own film. The film festivals publicity assured us that acquisition executives would be at the party from HBO Films, Paramount Classics. Paramount TV Distribution, 20th Century Fox, Miramax, MGM, Jerry Bruckheimer, Artisan, United Artists. Acme, Greene Street, Warner Brothers to name a few but I didn’t meet them.

I started handing out fliers for my film but found it hard to generate the enthusiasm to just market it to other film-makers. I laid out the sticks of rock, the fliers and schmoozed for England.

Bizarrely, the first celebrity I met in Hollywood was at this party, and he’s a dubious and odd choice. RON JEREMY was there promoting a film that he makes a cameo appearance in called “Everything’s Wonderful” – which is not, and a repeat NOT, a porn movie. (I hoped). I didn’t shake his hand as I know where he’s been. The second celebrity was within one meter of Ron Jeremy, and it was SEAN ASTIN (Sam in Lord of the Rings). I did shake his hand as I also know where he’s been… New Zealand.

I offered Sean a stick of Summer Rain rock which he declined, I think food stuff’s that he can’t identify are not to be accepted as a general rule. I invited him to the Summer Rain screening and was given an answer that was to become like a recurring theme throughout my trip “I think I’m out of town then.”

Other than meeting a composer now producer MARC ARAMIAN,( www.aramian.com )who was a fan of Summer Rain when he saw it in London at Raindance 2000, I found the opening night party quite depressing, film makers trying to flog their films to other film makers. The standard line is “If you come to mine, I’ll come to yours”, a blatant lie as I often loyally followed up on my promise only to have none of the film-makers return the favor; heartbreaking and not really a route to an audience or industry success.

I met one producer there called STEVE LUSTGARTEN. I pitched the movie, we exchanged cards and I decided to leave and catch up with Andy, who by then had retreated to a bar on Sunset. I really needed a drink too and entered the bar, to find many of the film makers I had just met also recovering over a beer.

Andy and I contemplated the evening back at his home, playing PS2 FIFA World Cup 2002 on his giant 5ft x 4ft TV late into the night. Our conclusion – Only independent film makers watch independent films, and usually, only their own.

September 19th Friday

The final box of envelopes still didn’t arrive via UPS, whilst I waited I checked my email.

RSVP’s were finally beginning to arrive on www.evite.com from the VIP invite list. However, despite the fact that my invite says quite clearly to confirm your free passes to the Summer Rain screening the guest had to fax Rachel Kate Miller at the NYIIFVF, I knew they probably wouldn’t. They would assume that by their rsvp to me they had done so. This left me trying to work out from some very abstract email addresses, which was coming to the screening and then having to email Rachel in New York with my vip guest list. So on this first day, we established that Fountain Pictures, Harmony Gold and Tomorrow Films were coming.

Rachel also sent me this:- “Jon, Can you please explain to me who Adrian O’Donnell is and how the: Department of Rehabilitation and Post Acute Care Administration, qualifies as "industry professional" and thus should allow me to give them comp tickets. If they want to see your film, great! Fabulous! Tickets can be purchased at ticketweb.com” Fair cop. Adrian is a friend of mine, a British actor who lives in Santa Monica with his wife. He innocently wanted a free pass. So I replied – “The Department of Rehabilitation and Post Acute Care Administration has a five picture deal with Dreamworks. Honest!” Rachel:- I do hope you get an 8 picture deal, but I thought the Re-Habilitation place signed one with Miramax, not DreamWorks, oh well... what can you do? Adrian got his free ticket. Anyway, he is quite close with British producer John Daly of MIRACLE whose credits include PLATOON, THE LAST EMPEROR and TERMINATOR amongst others.

There was also an invitation to meet Simon Graham-Clare the Executive Assistant to the Director at the British Film Office in Los Angeles. 

Matt Henderson at Seventh Art Releasing sent me an email asking for a screening vhs as no one would be available to attend the screening. Fortunately, I had brought 10 ntsc vhs’s with me. There was also an e-mail from producer MAURICE SMITH in Vancouver. He confirmed that he would shortly be in Los Angeles as one of his two actor sons was picking up an award for his work in the Warner Brothers series EVERWOOD, so we could meet. I had previously met Maurice at a Davenport Lyons party a year or two earlier in London and had initiated conversations around a thriller script called HUNT FOR THE DEVIL. Yet, nothing had as yet come of it.

Unexpectedly Chris Rieley now announced that he was indeed coming to L.A for the screening and had somehow secured the cash which was excellent news. Marc Aramian e-mailed me details of a distributor called Rogue Arts who were actively seeking projects. So again I prepared to send out a NTSC VHS. From www.evite.com I did my best to work out who was coming for Rachel to arrange the free passes.

The guest list looked like this for the moment:

Mr Robert Steinberg - plus one guest, Exec.Producer, Scarlet Fire Entertainment

Laura Hill - Dir.Development

Jerry McCarty Bradric Productions

Tony Unger  (+ 1 guest)

Darryl Marshak, Susan Zachary,

Alan Mills

Brian Haynes (+ 3 guests), Producer, Crystal Spring Productions Inc.

Ms Kimberly Norton, Producer, Fountainhead Pictures

Neal Doherty +1,  Producer

The Konigsberg-Smith Company

Drew Smith

Jenz Bergren (+ 1 guests), Ken Gross Management

Ms Melissa Wohl, VP, Sales & Acquisitions, Harmony Gold

Frank Agrama- Chairman

Colleen Morris - President

Alan Letz - Exec VP

Brad Shelton

Raquel Carreras (+1)

Chromosome22 Films

Julia Teachey - Development

Ms Cristiane Roget

Dubi Ben Shoham - VP, Sales & Acquisitions

Julie Kroll + 1 guests)

Mr Greg Radin

Julie Kroll - President

Linda Arroz (+ 1 guests)

Amongst these acceptances was one from Colin Chapman at Sonic Trax. Another Brit was on his way to Hollywood. Colin Chapman edited my first three award winning short films ROADSIDE, THE PERFECT MURDER and LA BELLE DAME SANS MERCI.

So the acceptance list on just the e-mail invitations on evite was looking quite promising. I wondered how effective the hard copy invitations were going to be and when would I get my first responses from those?

Steve Lustgarten whom I met at the opening night party got in touch to say that he’d love to meet me again to talk about the film industry and future projects, but sadly he’d be “out of town” when Summer Rain screened.

After the comprehensive session on Andy’s computer it was time to go to the Post Office and face the massive queue again. After an hour long wait the envelopes were on their way to their VIP destinations.

I kept walking on Pico and picked up my rental car from Enterprise. For some reason the economy car that I had booked was not available so I had to have the only model they had in the shop.

A massive PICK UP TRUCK!

I suddenly had the urge to get a six pack, surf board and go to the beach and pick up some bikini clad girls and sing Beach Boy tunes… dude. Luckily I found the L.A soft rock station on the radio and cruised on the freeway to Santa Monica singing Beach Boy hits and endless Carpenters songs, interrupted only by Hotel California by the Eagles. Yes, I found time warp radio and I loved it.

In the Santa Monica Kinko’s I approved the test strip on the poster and went shopping in Barnes and Noble where I bought myself a journal.  In the evening I parked my truck outside of CBS main Hollywood Studios and went to the Laemmle Fairfax Cinema, home of the NYIIFVF. A crowd was gathering in the lobby to watch the 8:10pm screening of EVERYTHINGS WONDERFUL – the film with the Ron Jeremy cameo. Directed by Skip Shwink. 88 minutes. Comedy.

“A full throttle eye-popping adventure about a group of slacking rednecks who get caught up with drug dealers, a vengeful father, a cheating girlfriend, a dead cat, one hot ass chick, a bag of mushrooms and of course, Ron Jeremy. Winner – Auteur of the Year/Best Editing – Bare Bones International Film Festival. Winner – Best Comedy Feature, Atlantic City Festival. NYIIFVF Award Winner.

I thoroughly enjoyed this film, originated on video. My problem with it was that it was about a fairly unpleasant group of people wasting their lives. The dream of the hero to escape his reefer laziness and make porn films in L.A wasn’t really the hero journey worthy of a whole film but who am I to judge the worth of other people’s dreams? It was poorly shot but well directed. Skip the director also starred in numerous roles.

 He claimed that this was to insure the actor’s turned up. He played his ‘twin’ often in scenes with himself, as well as being a third or forth character too. Some of the dialogue and situations were indeed very funny. It was certainly better than many independent films that I’ve seen and I thoroughly enjoyed it and its ‘gross out’ elements. The cameo by Ron Jeremy was also very funny. Yet, all in all the film felt a bit pointless. It was yet another film that probably could not have, and would not have, existed without Kevin Smith’s CLERKS, which is still the bench mark by which to measure hyper low budget independent films about slackers wasting their lives and trying to fulfil their lives. As much as I enjoyed the film it wasn’t CLERKS. I asked Skip to come to the Summer Rain screening on Wednesday, he told me that as he was now moving to Los Angeles he’d be “out of town” that day as he was getting his stuff. He was moving to L.A as Everything’s Wonderful had been so well received that he now had a number of projects in ‘development’. “Well done” I said as I shook his hand, bitterly thinking “Will anyone be IN TOWN when my film’s on?”

Flashing my VIP pass about I stayed in the 175 seater theatre to watch the next film at 10:10 pm, GRINDHOUSE. Directed by Stephen A. Tramontana. 106 mins. Horror. Set during a second Great Depression, Grindhouse is the story of the Messik Brothers, two down on their luck mechanics who have taken to kidnapping and extortion to get by. When a kidnapping goes wrong, they make a desperate attempt to stay alive for the night and figure out that the creepy things don’t always come out after sundown.

I really wanted this film to be good. I loved the premise and thought it held out a lot of promise. I was instantly disappointed. It was on video again, not in itself a crime but the execution was. There seems to be a misunderstanding amongst ‘indy’ film makers that they think the instantaneous nature of video means they should make their films from the hip whereas they should take just as much time lighting and executing their film just as though it was being shot on 35mm. This film was badly lit and poorly filmed, I just wanted to scream “BUY A TRIPOD!” I got so frustrated by the poor sound and technicalities that despite the promise of the story by the end of the first twenty minutes I had had enough and left the cinema.

Arriving back at Andy’s house I was delighted to find Andy up so we played Fifa World Cup until the early hours.

September 20th Saturday

After watching a Man Utd match live on Fox it was time to exchange my pick up truck for the less silly Ford Focus. It was easier to park, drive and cheaper to fill up at $16 for the entire tank. I drove it to the Wyndham Belage Hotel and parked on the N.San Vincente Blvd hill, remembering to turn my wheels to the curb (a law, to prevent cars rolling down the hills in case of earthquake). I was there to attend the first seminar of the festival:-

Saturday, September 20th--"Directing Actors" 10:30am-12:00pm Guest Speaker: Shelley Jensen from Warner Bros. Television

Shelley Jensen is an Emmy Award Winning Television Director. Jensen's distinguished career includes over 600 half-hour episodes of Prime Time Television, including such comedy hits as "Friends," "According to Jim," "The Drew Carey Show," and over 100 episodes of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" with Will Smith.

Shelley Jensen was a fabulously entertaining speaker with many stories and anecdotes about his time in episodic comedy television. Although multi-camera studio comedy is not something that interests me as a career aim it was still very interesting to hear of the route a show takes to TV. Shelley covered the ground from being hired, through the seemingly endless layers of producers and network executives to actually making a show. Rehearsing, rewriting and adapting to circumstance seemed to be the qualities needed to be a top TV director. 

Of course it was entertaining as all his stories could start with the line “When Jennifer Anniston….” Or “Will Smith said…” He kept his Emmy in clear view throughout the seminar, it seemed like a good way to shut up hecklers before they even had an urge to heckle – after all, do you have an Emmy?

After a huge pizza on Sunset Blvd, I returned to Andy’s to check my e-mail and the progress of the invitations. Not much to report other than an actress I met at the Director’s View Film Festival in Connecticut, Shawna Casey, said she’d come to the Summer Rain screening on Wednesday with her husband.

At the Laemmle Fairfax that evening I started to lay out the first batch of Summer Rain fliers and rock. True to form, the Americans looked at the Brighton rock with confused bemusement and looked at the artwork with mild indifference – after all the lobby of the cinema is usually just filled with relations of the local film-makers only interested in one film and one film only. Am I sounding cynical?

6:10 pm ALMOST AMISH. Alanna Bowers, dir. Experimental Comedy. Almost Amish is a medley of liberal ideologies. Legalization of marijuana and Winnie the Pooh’s sexual nature are candidly revealed in this honest, jubilant, tender and spirited celebration of life. NYIIFVF AWARD WINNER. Thankfully it was only 9 minutes long. Hilariously it feature the film-maker stoned giving a message to the president and her little lap dog shagging a Winnie the Pooh. A good film - Debatable. Funny – Yes.

SCORE!: Sara Hyoun & Cecilia Hyoun, dir. 80 min. Comedy/Romance. Reva Joy is the cutest twenty-something bowler seeking perfection in Los Angeles. With her size three bowling shoes, this Korean American hipster seeks the perfect score on and off the alley, while her friends seek the perfect men (with the perfect parts). Dating has never been so full of premature-ejaculating men, videogame-playing boys, and frank discussions on the manliest protrusions! (co-starring Jason Rush). 

This was my favorite film of the festival. I saw it as a sister film to Summer Rain, more ‘realistic’ in some respects and set in L.A – it was still basically about a group of girls trying to sort out their lives and men. It was funny, ambitious and charming. Surprisingly for a video feature it was actually well shot too. I thought it was the most enjoyable film that I saw during the film festival. Not an important film by any means, but it was fun light fluff, and well done fun light fluff.

OUTPATIENT: Alec Carlin, dir. 109 min. Thriller. A stylish psychological thriller of duplicity, dance, and the descent into madness. When a soft-spoken young writer, Morris Monk (Justin Kirk) – inadvertently committed to an asylum for years due to a systems glitch – is released into the “real” world, his writing begins to blur the boundaries of reality and paranoid hallucination and his therapist, Dr.Patricia Farrow (Catherine Kellner) begins to suspect she has unleashed a ruthless murderer. WINNER WorldFest Houston 2003 – Silver Remi Award for First Feature, NYIIFVF 2003 – Best Feature Award/Best Director Award/Best Actress Award (Catherine Kellner), D.C. Independent Film Festival 2003 – Audience Award Best Feature, Stony Brook Film Festival 2003 – Best Feature Award, NoDance Film Festival 2003 – Best Feature Award, Telluride IndieFest 2003 – Best Feature Award, Key West Indie Fest 2003 – Best Feature Award, Int’l Festival of Festivals – Palm Springs 2002 – Best Feature Award. Cast Includes Justin Kirk (Angels In America; Love! Valour! Compassion!; The Ten Unknowns), Catherine Kellner (Pearl Harbor; Shaft; The Truth About Tully) and Tomas Arana (Gladiator; LA Confidential; The Bodyguard; The Hunt For Red October).

Outpatient was undoubtedly very good and refreshingly it was presented on a 35mm print. The cinematography was excellent and technically it certainly was in a class above everything else that I had seen. The acting was universally very good and the direction was superb. The only draw back with the film was that I felt that it was too painfully ‘artful’. The makers were so intent on making a ‘serious’ and ‘proper’ film that they left their sense of humor behind and that removes ‘humanity’ and reality from a film. In trying so hard to make the film have ‘integrity’ they drowned it a certain artifice. In some respects the art-house slow pace of the film was a fault of its own choosing, I felt the editor should have picked up the pace at times rather than let it wallow in its  own ‘art’. However, I am being very hard on what was otherwise a superb, truly independent feature film.

That night Andy beat me at playstation FIFA – again.

September 21st Sunday

After watching an Arsenal match on Fox it was time to nip over to the Wyndham Belage hotel again for:- Topic: "Writing High Concept Movies" Guest speaker: Rob Tobin

Rob Tobin is a screenwriter, script doctor, writing coach, acknowledged expert on screenplay structure, and the author of "How to Write High Structure, High Concept Movies." Tobin read more than 5,000 screenplays for Spelling, Goldwyn, TriStar, HBO, and many more. Currently, Tobin is in pre-production on one of his feature scripts, in negotiation with Disney on a reality TV series based on his original concept, and in the development on the remake of one of the all-time greatest films. He will be giving workshops at Screenwriting Expo 2 as a "star" speaker, at the L.A. Film School, Sherwood Oaks, and Slam dance (both in L.A. and Utah) and is planning a follow up to his book "How to Write High Structure, High Concept Movies."

Rob was an excellent speaker, informative and entertaining. As screenwriting is one of my passions I was very interested in his take on the writing process. Essentially, his talk covered the three Act structure and the two main plot points, nothing new to me but good to hear from a working screenwriter. Rob’s enthusiasm for movies and writing was infectious and he certainly rejuvenated my enthusiasm. He recommended two books apart from his own, “Story” by Robert McKee and the unlikely “How to write a movie in 21 Days” by Viki King. He also told stories of the ‘ageism’ in Hollywood and how he once got a job for a major production company and then met the female head of development who only after meeting him withdrew the assignment as he was not ‘suitable’ i.e. Young. This is a tough town.

I invited Rob to my movie and he said that “He was out of town” taking a seminar. However, he was so impressed by the list of awards on the invitation he recommended that I send my latest script to an agent called Phillipa Burgess at Mason Burgess Lifschultz who regularly supports young writing talent. I liked Rob.

Back at the ranch, I checked my email. Steve Lustgarten had replied that I should meet him tomorrow. Chris Rieley wrote and said he was actually coming to the screening! There was also a very fast response from Phillipa Burgess at MBL requesting to read TSAVO, my new script. There was also an email from the Manager of the football team that I play for in Brighton, Queens Park Ravers. Because I was in L.A I had missed the opening match of our season and as a ‘star’ striker I was disappointed not to be there; especially as I had bought the entire squad a new strip. The good news was that the team had won 5 – 1 against Big Love. The bad news was that they managed to win without me.

It was lucky that none of the films screening that day at the festival appealed to me as I got a desperate phone call from Charlie Watts. He had arrived at LAX – a day earlier than he expected to (I don’t understand either) – so his host who was going to collect him was still in San Francisco  for the weekend. I was pleased to collect Charlie who had become one of my best friends since he acted in Summer Rain. Charlie is currently touring as ‘Sam’ in the national tour of VINCENT IN BRIXTON, but by a bizarre quirk of positive fate, there was an unexpected week off in the run which co-incided with Summer Rain’s screening in L.A. I managed to convince Charlie that if there was ever a time for an actor to go to L.A, it was when he had a feature film screening. So £550 lighter (for the air ticket) Charlie arrived, tired and wondering where his ride was. I greeted him with the first thing that was on my mind: ”Where did you park my car? In a residents bay?”

We returned to Andy’s and played FIFA before dinner at a Cuban diner which had a signed photo on the wall of ‘Cuban Gooding Jnr – see what he did? Oh.

After wandering aimlessly around Hollywood and Manns Chinese Theatres handprints again, I drove Charlie through Hollywood up to the hills. I still I didn’t see the famous landmark sign, even though he was staying with friends close by. The house was large and beautiful, belonging to his friend JOANNA CLARE SCOTT and her corporate lawyer husband. Joanna was at the Mountview drama school with Charlie before getting married and turning her hand to writing and producing. As Londinium Productions she now has a film in pre-production with Tara Reid and Bruce Campbell attached. www.londiniumfilms.com Charlie soon collapsed from jet lag and I drove back to West L.A. That night I wrote a detailed account of the trip so far.

September 22nd Monday:-

I drove to Van Nuys in the Valley to meet STEVE LUSTGARTEN of LEO FILMS at his home. He was the producer and distributor that I met at the festival’s opening night party. Over meatballs and spaghetti in a cheap but tasty restaurant in Van Nuys we talked about the state of low budget films. Steve mainly specializes in small limited releases of films and producing Digital Video features. He wrote, produced and directed AMERICAN TABOO. He believes in keeping the budgets down as much as possible and making genre films that will sell to specific markets and be available through Blockbuster.

However, I believe that many DV features are poorly executed with poor production values and they may well sit on the shelf at Blockbuster but who wants to see them? The key is to have a large enough budget for the ‘name’ and with that associated budget the production values will come. For example my producer IVAN CLEMENTS suggested to me that we make my script FLAKE CITY as a ‘guerilla film’ for as little as possible. For a moment my enthusiasm to make a film overwhelmed me and I said ‘yes’ – but with sober thought the conclusion is ‘what’s the point?’. If no one famous is in it the film doesn’t stand much chance of distribution, so we would have suffered the process of a low budget film just to have film festival screenings and no income; pretty much the Summer Rain story. As I’m not prepared to spend another eight years of my life trying to make one film with no income I think the ‘guerilla’ option is a no-no. I don’t want to make low budget films that aren’t seen anymore, and I want to make films with higher production values and audience appeal than DV genre films – so Steve and I although friendly, are film-makers on different paths, although he did express an interest in distributing Summer Rain. www.leofilms.com

I then drove back to L.A and whilst on Sunset Blvd I saw this billboard for Spooks. It’s only interesting as I make a cameo appearance throughout the series as an MI5 officer – not that you’d ever see me, but I am speaking Greedo's dialogue from Star Wars in my brief appearance.

I drove up to the Hollywood Hill residence of Charlie and still didn’t get to see the Hollywood sign. I waited for about half and hour for Charlie but he wasn’t there and I didn’t know where he was, so I left. Apparently he was out shopping as I embarked on a rush hour journey across L.A to Santa Monica. I was desperately trying to reach KINKO’s to pick up the poster before they shut. It took me two hours to get to Kinko’s only to find they are a 24 hour store. I needn’t have rushed. But the poster was ready and I loved it. It was perfect for the lobby of the cinema and it now hangs framed in my flat. By the time I made it back to Andy’s I was so tired from the constant driving I just wanted to stay in that night. So I checked my email, wrote a letter to Teresa and played Fifa before collapsing in bed.

September 23rd Tuesday

The UPS package of invites and envelopes still had not arrived. If I was to stamp them and get them in the post in time for people to get them before Thursday they would have to arrive today. Andy was to work at home that day and said he’d ring the moment they turned up. Surely, they’d come to day as they were sent on a 3 day service… 7 days ago. 

I tried to put the worry out of my mind as the first thing to do was get Charlie after yesterday’s mix up of not seeing him at all. As I had been in Hollywood now for six days and still not seen the Hollywood sign, Joanna took us there. She lives only a five minute drive away from the landmark, and finally I got to see it for myself.

Before we drove down to Hollywood I received a phone call from Paul Allen Smith at the Broder, Webb, Chervin, Silbermann Agency. He requested a Vhs of Summer Rain, another one for the list of things to do.

I drove us down to Hollywood and we had lunch at MELS DINNER, the chain made famous by AMERICAN GRAFFITTI. Although the Mels they filmed at was near San Francisco this restaurant was covered in pictures of George Lucas and Ron Howard filming. The Burger was excellent but not as good as Charlie’s favorite ‘In n Out’ Burger.

We nipped to the Laemmle Fairfax and laid out loads more fliers and sticks of rock to publicize the film. We continued down Melrose so that I could go and visit Simon Graham-Clare of the British Film Office in Los Angeles. Charlie disappeared for a while whilst I met with Simon Simon basically asked me what could he do, to help me. In truth unless it was help me get a green card or facilitate introductions to Hollywood mover and shaker’s not much. Simon explained the role of the Film Council was to help the British Film Industry and not individuals. So as much as he wanted to introduce me to people he couldn’t be seen to, especially when he had not seen my work. Also, the Film Council had no way of securing employment visas for British filmmakers. Of course this was all quite disappointing news but Simon more than made up for it with his enthusiasm for my film and activities in Los Angeles. I explained to him that the main thing I had learnt from my brief time in L.A is that if you want to be employed as a screen writer or film director in the English language film industry is that you have to be where the majority of the employers are. Los Angeles. So my problem is how to make a situation occur where I can legally live and work in Los Angeles. American film companies actually make movies, they pay for services it is a huge ‘industry’, whereas in the UK it’s a village industry fuelled by only a handful of cottages who have their own clique of regular villagers. Trying to break into the British Film Industry just reminds me of ‘The League of Gentleman’ – “This is a local shop for local people, we don’t want your sort here.” Whereas in America, there is more competition granted, but there are also more opportunities and America welcomes new talent. Being in Los Angeles I felt far closer to realizing my ambitions than by sitting in my flat in Brighton. Although I guess having a movie screening helps my delusion of being a film maker. Simon suggested that I find out more about the Film Export Group run by Sarah McKenzie at the film Council.  Ultimately though, Simon couldn’t help me particularly on this trip. However, he freely offered his support and enthusiasm for which I was very grateful. I know that I’ll stay in touch with him and I’m sure that he will be a useful contact in the future, as well as being a thoroughly nice bloke.

We drove to Venice Beach stopping off at a Staples store on the way to buy reams of prepunched U.S screenplay paper, braids and printer ink. As I had now had a couple of requests for my film and screenplay it was time to start printing – more expense.

We walked along the seafront boulevard from Venice up to the shopping malls of Santa Monica. It was a long but lovely walk. I would live in Santa Monica in a shot as it just reminds me of Brighton, except it has sand… and pelicans.

Charlie and I missed Zaki’s opening night in play “Antiphony” at the Odyssey Theatre, apparently it went well but Greek Tragedy has never had me storming the box office.

I drove Charlie back to his place in the Hollywood hills, this constant driving was beginning to get on my nerves. The driving also was not helpful to having a social, fun time in the evenings. The culture of L.A is the car. Taxi’s and public transport seemed virtually non-existent and nonhelpful. How can you have a fun night out if you are always the designated driver and your friends live in opposite directions by half and hour each way? So, I’d been in Hollywood a week and still not had a ‘proper’ night out.

As Andy and I played Fifa that night, I bemoaned that the UPS invite box hadn’t turned up. Even if it arrived tomorrow there was no point in sending any of the 350 invites enclosed as they wouldn’t turn up until after the screening at their destinations. UPS’s 3 day service had let me down badly. Andy assured me the 1000 email invites and 1000 or so hard copy invites that had already gone out would be enough.

September 24th Wednesday

Simon Graham Clare sent me an email and suggested I invite:-

Tracey Bing, Warner Independent Pictures 818 954 3589, VP Production and Acquisitions

Steve Giulula, Fox Searchlight 310 369 1000 VP Distribution

Benedict Carver, Columbia Tristar 310 244 8555, VP Acquisitions

Nancy Lessor, HBO 310 201 9274, SVP Media Relations

I also checked the status of the e-mail invitations on www.evite.com . There had been 23 Acceptances, 3 Maybe, 6 No and 702 non-responses with a day to go. I wasn’t too discouraged as that was just the email invite list and not the responses from the hard copy invites, so who knew how many would turn up? At least 23!

But just to confuse me, Karen Weiss at Harmony Gold then emailed me she could no longer attend the screening but would like to receive a VHS. Another mail out on the list. Also Mail Boxes in Brighton emailed me to say that they had contacted UPS to find out where my package was – it had misrouted to Philadelphia (despite the label saying Los Angeles , California) – and that it should be with me tomorrow…. Pointlessly. Even more annoying UPS had said that because the 3 day service had not been ‘guaranteed’ I would not get a refund. I was livid. A courier company completely fails to deliver an advertised service and gets to keep £70 just because it wasn’t guaranteed? That implies that they think it is acceptable for their 3 day service to take a week. I was furious. I had posted packages by ordinary post that had taken only 5 days to get to L.A. I had specifically used UPS to get my package to LA fast. Their failure to deliver upon their advertised 3 day service meant that I had 350 invites and envelopes that would not be used. Combine that with the sheer effort, time and expense that it took to prepare those envelopes and the hundreds of dollars worth of stamps that I had pre-bought, meant I was very angry. It had been over a week since I had sent the package on a three day service and it still hadn’t arrived and UPS were still going to keep £70. Outrageous.

I put a few last minute invites in the post, drove Andy to Hollywood to pick up his repaired vehicle and then content myself that I had done all that I could do (bar the UPS failure of service) to make tomorrow nights screening a success.

So Charlie and I went to Universal Studios for the day as complete tourists. Terminator 3-D, Shrek 4-D, Back to the Future, Backdraft, The Studio tour, Waterworld stunt show and of course our favorite ride… JURASSIC PARK. I think we went on it 5 times in total and I got soaking wet each time.

It was a fantastic way to unwind before the big day. I get very nervous before each film festival screening and because I had invested so much time, money and emotion into this screening – I was a bit of a jumble of nerves. Phone calls came in from Colin Chapman and Chris Rieley, they had both arrived in L.A. At lease I had a core group of friends around me for the screening.

That evening we went out for drinks and dinner with ALI HORN. A Casting Director for Commercials and Pop promos in L.A. She took us first to the Standard Hotel, which is famed for having a lingerie model in a Perspex box, reclining behind reception but she wasn’t there today. The waitresses were in pseudo nurse outfits which was fun. We sat by the pool overlooking L.A and talked about the life of an actor in L.A and the casting process.

Ali is only in her twenties but formed her own company in L.A and works hard and constantly. Her premises include video suites, client offices and kitchens and she has several permanent staff. All within a three year time period.

That night we had dinner at Jones, and then crossed the road to the famous red bar ‘Formosa’s’ once the haunt of many classic film stars as seen in L.A CONFIDENTIAL when Russell Crowe finds Veronica Lake look-alike Kim Basinger. Finally, I had been to a couple of famous Hollywood bars even if I did have to stay tea-total and drive Charlie back to the Hollywood Hills.

I went home, no UPS package, checked my email, played Fifa and wrote the love letter before falling asleep troubled by my nerves.

September 25th Thursday

Tense, nervous, headache….. no UPS package. Stress. Practical things had to come first to dispel my shaking hand. I queued in the post office for another hour and sent off the screening vhs to Paul Allen Smith, Simon Graham Clare, Matt Henderson and Karen Weiss. I tried to make the printer work but still, for the third of fourth day in a row it defied me, making me worry that if I didn’t manage to print TSAVO soon, I’d lose my window of opportunity with Philipa Burgess. 

On email I found out from www.evite.com that clubbeverlyhills had rsvp and was coming to the film.

Jennifer Murphy at the prestigious GERSH AGENCY also responded that David Gersh would beattending the screening with two guests.

Gloria Morrison of Echelon Entertainment could not attend but wanted a screening vhs –opportunity was calling. www.echelonent.com

I went to the cinema and put up the poster in the lobby and laid out a fresh coating of fliers and rock. Whilst I was there JACK CAMPBELL from ITN DISTRIBUTION (the festival’s founding body) came over and talked to me about representing Summer Rain. The Gossip bit! For those of you who read my New York report, you might remember a film called MAD DOG PROSECUTORS? Well, since New York Jack has been dating the daughter of the prosecuted in that film. She was in L.A for their screening.

Charlie eventually arrived as he had been with Ali watching a casting session. Afterwards, he walked through Melrose to the cinema to meet me. With Danielle Hartzell we queued up the screening video and oversaw the reel change over. It looked smooth enough. I’ve never been happy that due to a technical quirk of NTSC my 93 minute long film, which fits on one tape on PAL, has to be split onto two for NTSC – meaning there is an awkward reel change two thirds of the way through the film.

We went for a ‘Subs’ and were impressed by the standard and friendliness of the service – you don’t get that in England we both remarked. What else was there to do now other than worry?

Play Fifa.

That really was a very accurate snapshot of my state of mind.

The cinema looked glorious at night, its front lit up proclaiming the NEW YORK INTERNATIONAL INDEPENDENT FILM & VIDEO FESTIVAL! There was a huge throng of people and a white limousine, whose was that? (Troy from MTV attending the Music Festival). Stepping out of the car with Charlie I was instantly met by Colin Chapman, Chris Rieley and my friend actor MARK AIKEN. With Andy and Zaki and Charlie there, at least I had a group of friends to support me. I don’t know why I get so nervous, after all the film has been finished for well over a year and it has won numerous awards – I know it’s good so why worry? I can’t help it. Shawna turned up with her husband JACK KEHLER who I was delighted to meet. Jack is a well known actor who has been in THE BIG LEBOWSKI, MEN IN BLACK II, LETHAL WEAPON 4 and LOVE LISA. I saw Love Lisa at the Savannah Film Festival, the very first festival on Summer Rain’s circuit, and now a year on, I was meeting him at the very last screening on the festival tour. I love the way the world works sometimes.

Joanna Graham-Clare was there and my fellow Brighton film makers HOWARD FORD, MARK ANDREWS and ADAM turned up. Just by co-incidence they were in L.A to pitch their new screenplays to the studios. My friend Adrian turned up with his mother, and Charlie even had a couple of friends from his days at Mountview turn up. Despite my friends though, my worry was with my guest list. Who would come? Out of all the tickets that Rachel had arranged to be on the door only three had been taken. Weirdly the last three tickets to be arranged for the Gersh Agency. That was it! To my knowledge no other tickets were picked up. I was so disappointed, after all that effort and expense only three tickets had been taken. Still, at least it was three tickets that could potentially change my career for the better. Andy kept a low profile as he had only recently left the Gersh Agency.

Despite the lack of people there due to my invitation campaign, there was a decent sized audience. At least 60, genuine ticket buying, members of the general public had taken their seats in the cinema so things were looking up.

No they weren’t.

The festival director momentarily hi-jacked my screening to present a pop video from a ‘hot band’ at the music festival that ran simultaneously to the film festival. It was seemingly endless, and such a dreary tune it felt monotonously tedious. It out stayed its welcome by ten minutes or so. Then, when it ended – about 15 people left the cinema. They were just relatives and friends of the band.

Then the official presentation started of the short film ‘Silenced’. SILENCED: Eugene Park, dir. 8 min. Drama. A dejected young man sits in an empty apartment and reminisces about his former girlfriend and their past romance. Through a series of memories, both good and bad, he tries to convince himself that he’s not to blame for the eventual tragedy that ended their relationship. It becomes apparent, however, that his perspective on the matter is not entirely objective…

Thematically it sounds like a ‘break up’ film and suitable to be screened with Summer Rain. It wasn’t.

It was a film student style, morbid, B&W video of a suicidal teen. The music was gratingly abstract and far too loud, like it was going to pop the speakers. The poor, fuzzy, image quality combined with the depressing non-narrative content and bad sound had at least three people walk out. It was a very long eight minutes.

I was trying to impress the Gersh agency and they sat through a pop-promo and bad student film to get to mine. I was quite depressed by the whole experience as Eugene Park’s friends and family left when his film was over. The audience was down to about 35. I started my introduction speech to the audience, after all this was supposed to be the glorious final screening in Summer Rain hugely successful festival circuit – but as I spoke a few more people made up their minds to leave. It’s very disconcerting to be talking whilst watching your audience leave – at least they hadn’t even seen the film. I rushed my introduction and just started the film. Nothing was going to plan at all.

The lights went down, the film started and I was pleased that at least the image quality was passable – but the sound was AWFUL. I don’t know if ‘Silenced’ did pop the speakers but the soundtrack was fuzzy and the projectionist couldn’t settle on a volume level. It was all over the place and quite awful.

I must have buried my head or something now as I can’t quite remember what happened but some people left, quite rightly with such poor sound. If I was in the audience I would have left, having sat through a poor pop-promo, a poor student short and now a feature with bad sound – I wouldn’t have held out much hope that it would have got any better. Sadly, the three people who left after five minutes were all from the Gersh Agency. What a horrible experience.

After about fifteen minutes the projectionist found a decent sound level and the film settled into its routine. I was heartened when the laughs started to come in the second half. The reel change was smooth and ultimately, the audience that stuck it out to the end seemed to thoroughly enjoy it. It got a huge round of applause and everyone was very complimentary.

My friend Adrian had come with his mother, she turned to me and said “That was excellent, and normally I walk out of films.” Adrian nodded “She does”. My favorite compliment came from Joanna as she seemed genuinely impressed.

I had survived the final screening but worse was to come… the festival party. Most of us got in various cars to drive into Hollywood to go to CINESPACE, where the official film festival party for the night was being held. We queued for about half and hour to get into our own party… and failed. So we all drove to Sunset Blvd and went to the Standard Hotel, now with the lingerie model in her box behind reception, but we had no where to sit. So we walked to the nearest bar and took over. Howard, Mark and Adam had only flown in on that day, so as the process of getting to a bar had now taken over an hour they bailed out, leaving only Joanna, Charlie, Chris, myself and one of Charlie’s friends from Mountview. It had been a very stressful, disappointing and heartbreaking night. On the TV ‘Some Like It Hot’ was finishing up, although it was on ‘mute’ Charlie, Chris and myself started doing the dialogue en mass. Thanks to my friends support, beer and the flirting of a pretty waitress – I had a good night.

“Nobody’s perfect.”

September 26th Friday

I woke tragically early and checked my email disappointingly there weren’t any. My wounds from the night before were still fresh so I got dressed and drove to West Hollywood to pick up my cowriter CHRIS RIELEY. Chris and I went for breakfast at the grandly named ‘International House of Pancakes”. Chris cheered me up by thanking me for all the hard work that I had put into Summer Rain over the past eight years, making it a reality and then making it a successful festival film. He was proud of me and his part in the making of the film.

I woke tragically early and checked my email disappointingly there weren’t any. My wounds from the night before were still fresh so I got dressed and drove to West Hollywood to pick up my cowriter CHRIS RIELEY. Chris and I went for breakfast at the grandly named ‘International House of Pancakes”. Chris cheered me up by thanking me for all the hard work that I had put into Summer Rain over the past eight years, making it a reality and then making it a successful festival film. He was proud of me and his part in the making of the film. I asked him how he had managed to find the cash to come to L.A at such short notice? Apparently, he had taken on so much extra responsibility at work that they thanked him by offering to pay for his flight and hotel for three days in Hollywood!

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I took him into Hollywood to see the sights, i.e. – Manns Chinese Theatre, the hand prints and the Hollywood walk of fame. Bizarrely, he was instantly interviewed by U.S TV about his favorite film and unexpectedly Chris went all shy and didn’t want to talk. In the meantime I found George Lucas and Steven Spielberg set in the cement.

We then picked up Charlie and his bags and today, He flew back to England. Chris would be on the Flight behind him. We shook hands with Chris and wished him well on his flight. I then drove Charlie towards the airport. We stopped by Andy’s house to pick up Charlie’s jumper that I had borrowed. We were running late but there was six minutes left of the Arsenal v Man Utd match live on Fox. We thought what’s another six minutes? We made it to the airport right on time and I waved Charlie good bye. I felt very alone again.

That evening, I drove to Venice Beach and hooked up with Mark Aiken. Mark is a UK based actor who has been coming to L.A regularly over the past three years looking for work. He is fortunate that as he is Irish he was eligible for the ‘Green Card Visa lottery, and he won. He can work legally in the US. His frequent trips have started to pay off as whilst I was there he was filming ‘CHARMED’ and had been meeting the producers of season 3 of “24”. Mark and I have been friends for about ten years now and he’s always been a supporter of my work. He was a good friend to hang out with. He introduced me to his local bar and coffee shops in Santa Monica and I loved the atmosphere of this area. Mark rents an apartment right on the beach front which obviously made me very jealous. Whilst I was with him, his girlfriend Casey rang – “how would he like to go to Vegas for the weekend to go to a friends wedding?”

September 27th Saturday

Mark picked me up at mid-day and we sent off on our road trip to Las Vegas! Not much to report about the long seven hour drive into the desert. The scenery is spectacular in a desert mountain range kind of way. We passed a couple of enormous military complexes with thousands of tanks and armored vehicles lined up in precise rows, all just little dots in the distance. The elevation kept going up and the temperature kept going up. A bizarre quirk of the desert too was that you lose depth perception. We crested a rise to see Las Vegas in the distance before us. The signpost said “Las Vegas 26 miles”. Yet, to me it looked like it was only three or four miles away. Mark set the ‘counter’ on the dashboard – and sure enough it took twenty minutes to get there and it was 26 miles away. I guess it’s because there is no size comparison or perspective on a flat, surrounded by nothing.

Entering Vegas at Sunset was quite an experience, instantly the neon’s lit up and dazzled us as we drove along the strip. Pyramids, Paris, Palaces, Pirate Ships overwhelmed our eyes. Life was teeming, the sights and sounds spectacular it was instantly impressive. Suddenly I heard screaming! I glanced over as a roller-coaster carriage whooshed past the sidewalk and disappeared into an underground tunnel alongside the road. Even the streets are full of surprises here. Fighting through slow traffic Mark and I fought our way to several hotels which were either too expensive or full up… where would we stay? Worse still, we were under pressure as the wedding was only an hour or so away.

We finally went to the Bellagio hotel, made famous by Oceans 11, probably the best hotel in Las Vegas. It was $250 for the night…. We gulped… we were out of time…. But then we were both over taken by a ‘what the hell’, once in a lifetime urge and went for it. We dumped our bags, changed like it was a scene change and then rushed out. Walking through the Casino in my ‘fancy duds’ I felt like the King of the World, like I could take George Clooney on is suave stakes, like I owned the hotel – rather than the truth that I couldn’t even afford the $5 minimum bet table.

As we drove down ‘the strip’, I relived the 007 chase in ‘Diamonds are forever’, especially when we drove by ‘The Flamingo’ on which Willard White had his penthouse suite. We finally found the ‘Kirk ‘o’the heather wedding chapel and I met the brides. Well, we were the fourth in row to get married. Three brides were waiting in the lobby before our bride ‘Cat’.

Cat is in the US Navy and she met Trevor, a Scot, whilst on holiday in Paris. It was love at first sight and now six months later here they are in Vegas getting married. The first hic-cup though was that they hadn’t got the marriage license from the Vegas courthouse. Luckily, due to the number of weddings in Vegas it’s a 24 hour courthouse – so the bride and groom walked there together. Twenty minutes later (after a couple of weddings) they came back and soon it was time for us to enter the chapel. By the way, if you wanted Elvis to marry you that was $20 extra. ‘wedding videos’ for sale. I hoped that meant the videos would be grainy, black and white security camera image quality. The minister solemnly came in and inserted a blank vhs into his pulpit and pressed ‘Record’. When he was satisfied the video was running he started the ceremony.

Despite the ‘Vegas Wedding’ cliché he actually did the ceremony with a surprising amount of sincerity and optimism. The bride was crying, the groom was trembling and the whole thing was very sweet. The only bad points for the minister is that once the groom had kissed the bride he encouraged us all to: “Wave to the camera for the folks back home!”

Once the photo session outside was over, we drove back to the Bellagio for a party in our suite. Once we’d downed the Champagne we got in a stretch limousine and drove down the strip to a restaurant for a fabulous steak meal. Our party decamped to the Palms Casino to go clubbing. Twenty seconds after entering the casino a huge guy put his arms around me and said, “Did you see that girl with the big titties?” I instantly turned into Hugh Grant, “Gosh, no… what girl?” I looked very confused. Mark’s girlfriend Casey looked suspiciously at the huge guy, correctly as it turned out as he then said: “Do you want some Charlie?” I maintained my wide eyed Hugh Grant, “Gosh, er.. thank you for offering and.. er… such … but… no… I don’t think so. Not for me… er… thank you.” Casey, being a quick thinking girl, grabbed my other arm and pulled me away from the Bear saying, “What have I told you about talking to strangers?” “Sorry, girlfriend needs me, got to go.” I even waved ‘goodbye’. “Shouldn’t we tell security?” I whispered to Casey. “Not if you want to leave Vegas alive.”

Again, because I’m English, as I had forgotten to bring my passport the bouncers would not let me into the nightclub. After losing a few dollars on the slot machines I decided to go back to the Belagio. Mark too had had enough and we walked back, after all it was now 4 am. We had a quiet drink in the bar, watching the silicon and botox go by with their unlikely male companions who were either their fathers or very rich. I think I was in bed around 5:30am.

September 28th Sunday

Although Mark and I woke up only ten minutes before check out time, we were still classed as ‘guests’ for the day and I infiltrated the pool. Mark had to leave to run errands for his girlfriend, pick up the bride and groom and give them a lift to their car and all sorts of mundane things. I on the other had got to lounge around by the pool under the desert sun. I spent three hours swimming, resting and writing, detailing my adventures.

The drive back was very, very long. All of Las Vegas decides to leave on Sunday afternoon and head back for Los Angeles – making the trip a nightmare. Of course it was fun being with Mark but equally tedious being stuck in traffic on a journey that is already scheduled to take seven hours. Not much to report really except that the Americans have no lane etiquette. In England, we have slow lane, middle lane, fast lane – a fairly safe way to ensure overtaking is always on your right. In America it’s a free for all, thus you can be killed from all sides at great speed. It is a nightmare! I was frequently terrified for the duration of the journey and it wasn’t Mark’s driving, it was everyone else.

Arrived around midnight back at Andy’s and let him thrash me at FIFA… again.

September 29th Monday

My weekend email heralded an apology from Marc Aramian for not making the screening and not much else. I began to panic, after all that preparing the screening, all that expense, from 2-3000 invitations trying to make this a successful Hollywood trip all I had managed to do was get three agents there who didn’t like the film. Andy comfortingly said it says more about Hollywood’s indifference and laziness rather than being a comment on my talent, abilities and commitment. That still didn’t change the fact that my screening had come and gone and I felt no closer to a career. So I made two decisions.

1) I would chase up the rsvp evite list of people who said they were coming – but didn’t.
2) I would use a facility called Script Hustler.

I spent many hours going through the evite.com ‘Yes’ rsvp list, sending them all an email asking them if they had managed to see my film? – and if not would they like a vhs?

www.scripthustler.com is a site I might not normally have considered but I felt that with a week left in the US, I had to do something to make the trip a success. So I signed up. For $120 script hustler will send your e-mail query letter / script pitch to the email addresses of 1200 agents/producers/executives/studios. I used my credit card (again), wrote a fabulous query letter that highlighted my films awards and Hollywood screening and pitched my new screenplay TSAVO.

Having spent all day on the computer there was little else to do but panic. I tried to print TSAVO on Andy’s computer but failed again, for some reason the printer and scanner decided not to talk to each other. Andy kindly volunteered to print it at work, so I gave him the CD of the script.

Amongst the emails there was one request for a screening cassette of Summer Rain from:John N.Flynn at Hollywood Classics. There was also an invitation to meet Simon Graham Clare at the BFO again.

That afternoon Andy and I went to play tennis. As I hadn’t played since I was 14 I was a little rusty and Andy won 6-0, 6-2, 6-2. It was quite tough playing under the L.A sun.

That evening I went out to dinner with Echo Gaffney. We went to Morels French restaurant in THE GROVE. I had met Echo in Cannes and met with her there each year. In 1998, Echo produced her first short film, the multi-award-winning THIS IS HARRY LEHMAN, starring Academy Award winner Ray McKinnon. Since then, she has either produced, written, or directed over 12 short films. SAVE VIRGIL, an animated and live action short film, directed by animator Brad Ableson of The SIMPSON’S, stars Gary Coleman and Ginger Lynn. Echo’s directorial debut, THE SILENCE OF SPEED, was picked up by The Sundance Channel last year. Echo has produced 3 feature films. SHUTTER, her debut feature film as producer, premiered at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival. SHUTTER stars Emmy winner Bruce Weitz, Aysia Polk and Garikayi Mutambirwa. LEARNING TO SURF, her second feature and BURNING ANNIE are due out this fall. Echo is writing and producing the thriller CYANIDE BLONDE.

September 30th Tuesday

After checking my email I successfully managed to print a copy of my script TSAVO. With still no response from the screening or script hustler I felt quite morose and as though I was just kicking my heels. Andy was out so I took messages, one from Nick Moran (Lock Stock) asking if he could stay at Andy’s. I also rang Victoria Wisdom of Becksy Wisdom Kalajian, an agent who was once quite keen on my writing as she had read my screenplay RAVENSWING. I didn’t manage to get through to her but I resolved that as she had once been a supporter I’d get a copy of TSAVO to her. I then went to meet Melissa Hargreaves at the British Film Office as she was very keen to meet an independent film maker taking on Hollywood. We had lunch and just talked about the difficulties of breaking into the industry and surviving in this difficult industry.

At the BFO I spoke again to Simon Graham-Clare who was very encouraging and he reminded me that it was quite an achievement just to get this far, to get a film to screen in Hollywood. I was temporarily resolute again.

Without anything actually solid to ‘action’ I just went and played tennis again with Andy, this time 6-2, 6-4, 6-4. I was getting better. As we jogged around the block, Andy told me that he use to play Sunday league soccer at this ground, but he stopped playing when someone pulled a gun on the ref.

That night I went to Santa Monica and met up with Adrian O’Donnell and Mark Aiken in a popular bar called ‘My fathers office’. As Mark had a callback in the morning for ‘24’ he left after one drink. Luckily, Adrian and I had plenty to talk about into the wee hours. I then went clubbing but within ten minutes two girls started a fight over a skinny bloke who then got beaten up by the bouncers. There was a lot of blood. I went home.

Andy beat me at Fifa again and I stayed up writing.

October 1st Wednesday

Karen Weiss at Harmony Gold emailed to say that she wouldn’t be able to see the vhs of Summer Rain for at least a couple more weeks. Aaron Shuster at Fountain Pictures asked for a vhs screener. On my way to have lunch with Marc Aramian, I dropped off a vhs screener at Aaron’s home address.

Marc Aramian, www.aramian.com , is a film composer and has now turned his hand to producing. He was a huge supporter of Summer Rain when he lived in London, but he has now returned to L.A to pursue a producing career. Marc has now formed his own company to find finance and to secure exhibition/distribution for their own productions. He has written a fantastic article called “Why Indie Films Can’t Find Distribution” for the Filmmakers Alliance Magazine (Fall 2003) www.filmmakersalliance.com

Marc was very keen to emphasize that independent film makers should follow a methodical plan to make their films. Follow a strategy to raise money, secure exhibition and secure a ‘selling’ element. Marc’s enthusiasm is certainly inspirational and I hope that I will get to work with him in the future.

Whilst I was with Marc, Paul Allen Smith from the Broder, Webb, Chervin, Silbermann Agency rang! He started by telling me how talented he thought I was. He thought that my film was fantastic. But, he already had similar directing clients and although he wouldn’t be representing me, he thought I wouldn’t have too much trouble in finding an agent. He wished me great success and arranged the return of my VHS. Why is it the people who find me the most talented are the ones who won’t help me?

I then went to Kinko’s (again) and ordered 5 copies of TSAVO ($35) to be picked up tomorrow. I spent the rest of the day shopping in Santa Monica.

That night I checked my email to find that producer Maurice Smith would meet me the following day.

Andy beat me at Fifa again.

October 2nd Thursday

Tony Unger sent me an email thanking me for inviting him to the screening of Summer Rain, sadly I couldn’t work out which production company he was from.  Brad at tomorrow films asked for a screener vhs. Wilma Enders at Allied Entertainment emailed to tell me she had passed the vhs of Summer Rain on to Mr Moder.  Jerry McCarty of Braderic Productions sent me an email apologizing for missing the opening of Summer Rain’s screening, but he enjoyed what he saw and hoped to meet me another time.

I then went to the King’s Road Café to meet Canadian Producer Maurice Smith Originally I was introduced to Maurice by Carlo Dusi at Davenport Lyon’s London screenings party in 2001. Maurice had then offered me a script to direct called HUNT FOR THE DEVIL, a Silence of the Lambs style screenplay set in the Eastern bloc. Meeting Maurice again was very exciting as he seemed to be genuinely taken with Summer Rain as a calling card film. As a Canadian he is very interested in making use of the Canada / UK coproduction treaties which would require a British director and I seemed to fit the bill. He once again short listed me for HUNT FOR THE DEVIL and said he’d email two comedy scripts to me BEAT THE CLOCK and GO FOR BROKE, both of which he said were almost funded 100%. Our meeting lasting only twenty or so minutes, but to me it highlighted the value of being in L.A – if you can take the meeting, you might get the job.

I drove down Pico to Kinko’s and picked up my lovely bound copies of TSAVO. I felt very excited to hold my work on fresh, warm, crisp paper. I was finally able to package up my script and send it to Philipa Burgess as recommended by Rob Tobin. I also sent it to Victoria Wisdom at BWK with a copy of Summer Rain. With the mail out of screening cassettes this of course led to me standing in the post office for yet another hour.

But surprise of surprises, my package arrived via UPS! The 3 day service took two weeks and three days! Of course the content of 350 envelopes and invitations was now completely devoid of use and was defunct. The only thing to do was bin the box on arrival. Back in England I tried to get my £70 back, but because the package was not ‘guaranteed’ UPS refused to give me my money back, even though they admitted it had been mid-directed twice. I explained to them that they had completely and utterly failed to provide the service which I had paid for hence they owed me my money. Their response was that ‘it got there’ and as it wasn’t guaranteed they were under no obligation to give me my money – they just didn’t comprehend that their complete and utter failure to provide a courier service meant that morally they should return my money. After all, I had managed to post packages to L.A on normal postage that had taken only 4 – 5 days, the entire point of using a company like UPS is to ensure that the package gets there in the agreed amount of time which was 3 days! I certainly didn’t pay £70 for it to take over two weeks. They maintained there ‘no guarantee no money back’ position, even though by implication that meant they thought it was acceptable for their service to take two weeks! “What about the three day service?” I cried…. “It’s four working days actually” they replied seemingly unaware that four days still doesn’t equate to two and half weeks. Then to add insult to injury, I then received a phone call from UPS complaints department telling me that they couldn’t talk to me anymore as “I wasn’t the customer”. As I had placed the order through Mailboxes in Brighton, Mailbox was the customer and not me, so they would not correspond with me any more!

UPS utterly failed to deliver a service and misdirected my package twice. It took two and a half weeks to deliver a package booked on a three day service – then they have the gall to keep my £70 and tell me that I wasn’t the customer and that they wouldn’t talk to me any more. You might not be surprised to learn that I will NEVER, EVER, use UPS ever again. I have spent hundreds of pounds on courier services over the past few years and for the sake of £70 UPS will lose ALL my future business. I found them rude, incompetent and greedy. Fed-Ex have got themselves a new customer. I feel robbed and I seethe at the name UPS.

That night I went out in Hollywood with Echo and went shopping in the Grove.

October 3rd Friday

I was supposed to go to Disney with Echo but sadly she felt ill and had to stay at home in bed. My email was a little more exciting than usual. I had emails from Adam Betteridge at Great British Films detailing the current section 48 tax deal offered by GBFilms. “Our contribution is usually between 35-40% of the budget of the film. The variance depends on the commercial strength of the film. For this we need a recoupment position in first place (or second if there is a bank in first) and sales estimates from a reputable sales agent demonstrating at least 120% coverage. We would want to see at least one pre-sale to a major territory. We also take the rights to all UK tax relief's under section 48 and 42. In some cases, we may consider taking exploitation rights to one major territory. Shooting location is not that important to us, but it is imperative that the film qualifies as a Co-Production under the relevant Treaty, which means an application for pre-approval at the DCMS needs to be completed and pre-approval received, with final certification on completion.”

Ron Gilbert at Rogue Arts emailed to offer Summer Rain a limited theatrical distribution in L.A and a DVD release. This deal is still being looked at. www.roguearts.com

Dylan Wilcox at Miramax emailed me for a screener vhs. 

Maurice Smith emailed me a comedy script to read BEAT THE CLOCK.

Joanna Clare Scott invited me to the premiere of Bruce Campbell’s new film for that night.

However, there was still no response from script hustler so I thought that was another $120 down the drain. Beyond posting the screening vhs’s there was little for me to do. I met up with Mark Aiken and we drove out to Malibu for the day. We intended to go to the Bruce Campbell premiere with Jo Clare Scott but instead we went to a party in Venice Beach with Ali Horn the Casting Director.

That night I decided to get away from my nightmare and take a road trip to San Francisco for the weekend. I booked a hotel on www.expedia.com and packed that night.

October 4th Saturday

Obviously, because I’d decided to go away for the weekend the emails started to come in from Script Hustler. Although the first two were a little disappointing, they were Auto Out Of Office replies from Bettina Moss at HBO and Bruce Johnson at Porchlight. It proved though script hustler do actually do something for the money.

Maurice Smith also contacted me to say that he would be coming to the UK in mid-November after MIFED to finalize finance for his productions and that he would hope to meet me then too.

After watching the football on TV, I packed my bags and set off to San Francisco at 1pm. It’s about 400 miles to San Francisco but luckily it’s a pretty straight road the entire way there. Once you’re over the mountains it’s flat all the way. You really get a sense of the scale of America when it’s flat in every direction as far as the eye can see. On the entire seven hour drive I only saw one Police car. There were three things that made the journey interesting though. Through the dust flats, you could see mini-twisters or ‘eddy’s’ blowing in the dust. At one point I started to pass a cattle ranch, but I have never seen so many cattle gathered before in one location before. In fact, I didn’t know there were as many cows in the world as I saw by the roadside. Endless cows for as far as the eye could see. The smell was quite impressive too. Finally, an hour before San Francisco I hit the wind farm power generators. Again, I have never seen so many windmills, propellers in one place. Thousands and thousands of rotor blades swiped through the wind; on every hill, in every direction, everywhere. It was a most amazing sight. I drove across the bridge and entered the city around 9pm. My hotel was situated in a prime spot right besides China Town. It was a central location for everything. As quick as I could I showered, changed and hit the town.

Without any idea where to go I followed the search lights in the sky, reasoning that beneath those lights there must be a party. The first thing I noticed about San Francisco was the chill wind, this wasn’t L.A anymore. The second thing was that it was a city you could walk around. L.A is built entirely for cars not for humans, San Francisco is a walking city and of course that puts you in direct contact with the homeless, whereas in L.A you can drive past them. Anyway, I walked through the financial district and found a party besides huge searchlights. There was a queue  waiting to get in, but into what? I asked the bouncer:-

“What is this?”

“It’s the opening night party of this club.”

“Right… can I go in?” I said sounding like Hugh Grant again.

“Are you British?” said the Bouncer.

“Yes.”

“Me too. In you go.”

With that I jumped the cold queue and went into the club and partied all night. Bizarrely, two waitresses bought me drinks and Danni Minogue was there.

October 5th Sunday

I almost overslept but leapt to my feet to see the sunny day outside. I walked through Chinatown and accidentally found myself following a walk route in my tour guide. I found myself spotting locations from BULLIT, DIRTY HARRY and of course ESCAPE FROM ALCATRAZ.

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I found the waterside docks and the seals that have made Pier 39 their home. Apparently the seals have only been there a few years, at first just a few found their way onto the pontoons but within a year the whole colony had settled there, after all it’s a protected harbour and safe from the sharks that hang out in the bay.

Whilst I was here, I went to the Bay Aquarium which had an enormous Shark Tunnel. I also went onto a Bay cruise around Alcatraz and beneath the Golden Gate bridge. My trip to Alcatraz would have to wait until Monday as all the tours for Sunday were booked up. So I contented myself with just riding around the bay and took the cable car home.

That night, I went and eat in a dinner and went to a Blues Club. Muddy Waters drummer was there which I took to be a good recommendation.

That night, I wrote and went to bed very, very, tired.

October 6th Monday

ALCATRAZ

I found Alcatraz a fascinating place to visit. All the legends and stories could fill volumes of books and they do. Entering the cell block was very eerie. Nearly everyone does the Audio tour, so we all listen to individual headsets telling the stories of the cells, so the cell block is in virtual silence as hundreds of people mill around in a strange synchronicity, one after another peering into the same cells doing as instructed on their earphones. It was a fabulous experience seeing where Al Capone was held and other notorious gangsters. Did you know that the Birdman of Alcatraz didn’t actually have any birds there? He wasn’t allowed as he had been in his previous prisons; hence the wardens believed he was a ‘grumpy son of a bitch’.

That afternoon I got stuck in rush hour traffic and I didn’t get back to L.A until about midnight.

October 7th Tuesday

My last full day in L.A! With three days worth of emails to catch up on:- There was a message from Adam Betteridge from Great British Films wondering if I could meet Rogue Arts before I left L.A. There was also an email from Rogue Arts saying there was no point in meeting them as the contract they sent through was non-negotiable – I don’t think I want to do business with a company who can’t even be bothered to meet the film-maker and declares that they won’t even consider a negotiation. I don’t think Rogue Arts will represent my film.

Maurice Smith sent through another script for me to read: “HUNT FOR THE DEVIL”.

Script Hustler also provided this gem from Sony:- The referenced e-mail sent by you has been deleted without having been read. Although we appreciate your interest, it is the firm policy of Screen Gems, Columbia Pictures and/or Sony Pictures Entertainment not to consider material submitted on an unsolicited basis. Studio insurers, including those of Sony, Columbia and Screen Gems, mandate this policy because of the frequency of unfounded plagiarism claims. We hope you understand the difficult position we are in regarding these matters.

This next email came from the story department at HBO - Your e-mail has been forwarded to me by Bettina Moss. Unfortunately, due to legal considerations, we cannot consider submissions made via e-mail. If you wish to submit a project you must go through a WGA signatory agent or lawyer, who can submit a letter and/or one-page synopsis on your behalf.

Warner brothers also provided me with a very similar:- Warner Bros. Pictures studio policy, established by our Legal Department, prevents us from considering any story material unless it is submitted by a licensed literary agent who is signatory to the Writers Guild Of America. Therefore, we are returning your submission unread and any enclosures included with it. We cannot recommend agents to you, inasmuch as this would imply we preferred some over others. However, you may try calling The Writers' Guild at 323-951-4000 and ask them to send you a list of accredited agents. Thank you for your interest in Warner Bros. Pictures.

However, in direct contrast to these there was an email from my agent Kate Watson at Sara Putt Associates. -  “Darling just taken a call from Walt Disney Pictures, Bruce Hendricks (President of Development) who's very keen to see the 'Tsavo' script!!! how exciting.”

So Script Hustler paid off after all. I instantly prepared a package for Disney but before I could send it, I got another request. Michael Milberg at Red Wagon rang me. Red Wagon produced GLADIATOR for Dreamworks. Michael said that Red Wagon didn’t usually accept unsolicited submissions but Douglas Wick was interested in my pitch for Tsavo. He then asked if I would take a copy round to the office on the Sony lot.

So on my very last day in Hollywood, I was invited onto the Sony lot to hand deliver my new script. It might not sound like much, but to me, it was a major victory and a dream come true. I motored over to the Kings Road Café to meet Maurice Smith again. He gave me another script, this time a hard copy of GO FOR BROKE and in return I gave him my horror action thriller RAVENSWING. It was a very fast ten minute meeting, with lots of Hollywood fast talk and bluster. As Maurice left, the waitress (Karen Brenes) said to me “He was a producer right?They’re all like that.”

That night, there wasn’t much more to do other than pack and play tennis. Andy beat me 6-4, 6-2, 6-4. Then he thrashed me at FIFA.

That night I finished writing.

October 8th Wednesday

I had packed and was ready to leave. The phone rang and there was a vaguely familiar voice on the other end, actress SEAN YOUNG. Sean was in BLADE RUNNER as Rachel the replicant. Sean had also been in NO WAY OUT and David Lynch’s DUNE. I had invited Sean to the screening as she is now a producer and she was ringing me to thank me for the invite. We had a nice chat and she invited me to meet her in Santa Monica but obviously I had to decline as I had to go to the airport. I did send her a VHS of Summer Rain though. Sean was extremely charming on the telephone and I hope that I get to meet her on my next trip out to L.A.

I went to the post office, and queued for another hour to send out my final scripts, screening cassettes and my personal mail to England.

Andy took me out to lunch at a well known Deli. I found it funny that every table around us was filled with people talking movies and deals. Andy even bumped into one producer who asked him “So what are you doing now?” Andy looked a little coy as he replied “Writing Wild Things 3 for you.” Andy’s had also written Wild Things 2 which was in post-production and everyone was apparently very pleased with it. Andy spoke a little about the complications of writing a studio product, in that he was given almost a check list of things to include. The script had to have at least one court room scene, a three-some and a very impressive opening scene. For this sort of sequel the studios like to spend the budget in the opening ten minutes as they believe that unless they open with a “BANG”, the audience won’t stick around to see the ending, no matter how much money they spent on it.

Soon I was back at L.A.X and walking though customs, this time though without seeing my friend the dog that is never wrong.

Not much to report about the flight back other than I watched Terminator 3 and Bruce Almighty on the flight back.

Again, I had hours to reflect on what had happened over the past three weeks. I had managed to have a Hollywood premiere but I had not taken Hollywood by storm as I had optimistically hoped. I did though manage to make and maintain some valuable friendships that might well one day prove to be beneficial in my quest to make movies. I also had managed to get Red Wagon and Disney to read my new script, culminating in an invitation onto the Sony lot. Further more, Maurice Smith had short-listed me to direct three films, one of which BEAT THE CLOCK already has Burt Reynolds attached to star

All in all, I think the trip was a great success after all. Even if all my efforts ultimately lead to nothing at all, at least I went to Universal, Las Vegas, San Francisco and Alcatraz. It was definitely a trip to remember.

ENGLAND

Its cold and it rains; back to the poverty and reality of being an independent film-maker. The emails from my trip continued. Script Hustler provided three more script requests from The Endeavor Agency, Zide/Perry Entertainment and Wriart. Disney emailed to say that an intern had accidentally shredded TSAVO as soon as it arrived, so would I send another copy. Indican pictures asked for a screening cassette of Summer Rain. Gloria Morrison at Echelon Entertainment emailed through a contract as Echelon want to take on distribution of Summer Rain. I am now looking at the contract closely. Matt Henderson at Seventh Arts “passed” on Summer Rain.

I received a phone call from Lorenzo De Maoi at the office of Dino De Laurentis. Apparently Dino was “intrigued” by me as I had won an award at the Rome Film Festival, so would I please send Dino a vhs of Summer Rain and my new screenplay Tsavo. Of course, I am very excited to send Dino De Laurentis my work. I just hope he likes it.

Maurice Smith will shortly be flying to England to talk to me about the three projects he’s offered me.

I have also learnt that Summer Rain will be out on DVD in the UK in about 8 months, in a deal with GOLD and GBF.

So professionally, things might well work out. Which only leaves my personal life to sort out.

The future is what you make it – so I’d better make a new film, write more scripts and return to

HOLLYWOOD!

Many thanks to Screen South for the grant that made my Hollywood adventure possible.